Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

Dealing With Rejection - Neal Talbot

No matter how attractive or charming you may be – there will be people not interested in talking with, dating or getting into a relationship with you. This is a simple fact of life.

Some women like George Clooney but not Brad Pitt, some men like Cameron Diaz but not Angelina Jolie. Certain people like certain things - and if you don't appear to have those things - they're simply not interested. They key is to not let this rattle your self-confidence.

In the dating world you're going to face rejection. Unless you married the very first person you asked out, odds are you've had to face it. This is natural… not something to get too worried about. Some singles are filled with anger, embarrassment, anxiety, fear and shame when they're faced with any form of rejection, but this simply doesn't have to be - and shouldn't be - the case.

Remember, it's not a matter of if you'll face rejection in your dating life, but rather when and how will you deal with it. So, whether it's a first approach, first date or early into a relationship, whether you saw it coming or it hit you like an unexpected bombshell, there are some key ways of handling rejection and quickly overcoming it.

Don't take it personally
In many cases, the ‘so-called' rejection has nothing to do with you. They may be having a bad day and don't feel like having a conversation with someone new. They may cut it off after a second date because they just got fired and they're life is suddenly in crisis. They may break the relationship off because their unable to overcome their commitment issues. All you can do is give it your best shot and let the chips fall where they may. If you gave it your best shot – congratulate yourself on the effort – and move on.

Don't act out
People who are single the longest can't handle rejection. After a person rejects their attempt at conversation, they say, "That's okay you don't look that interesting anyway," and storm off. They end up looking petty, silly and foolish.

After a person rejects their attempt at conversation, a smart single says, "That's okay. But if you change your mind and want to have some engaging conversations – I'll be over there," and walks off with a smile on their face. This classy exit increases the likelihood of them being approach by not only the person, but all those around them.

Cancel any pity parties
A trap singles fall into is getting caught up in a pity party. They ask themselves, "Why did this happen to me?" They begin to question their self-worth. They start to second-guess themselves? They begin to develop a fear of the opposite sex. And they waste weeks, months, even years, dwelling on a rejection.

Be sure to cancel any pity parties no matter how bad you feel. They're simply not going to help you. Instead, have a party where you invite all your friends and some attractive singles and have a great time.

Remember why you're awesome
In times where you're facing rejection, it's important to remember what makes you awesome. Why your loved ones cherish your presence. Why anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. Instead of dwelling on why something didn't work out, take a moment to write out a list of your positive traits instead. Keep your focus on the positive as much as you can because a positive outlook always earns positive results.

Keep positive
Handling rejection and overcoming it always involves keeping a positive attitude. A positive attitude helps prevent you from feeling sorry for yourself, prevents you from getting scared off, prevents you from taking it personally and keeps you looking at things from a proper perspective.

A person wasn't interested in talking with you - well go talk to another one. No second date - well go get another first date. Positive people don't let something as simple as a simple rejection ruin their day or slow their path to finding their special someone.

Reflect
If you face continual rejection it's important you step back and take a look at why that might be happening. Are you coming on too strong? Are you struggling to make conversation? Is it obvious you're nervous? A key part of improving your social skills is the ability to reflect… and evolve.

If you can find what you're doing wrong and quickly correct it you're not going to have to face as much rejection. So don't be afraid to step away from a situation, visualize what you were doing, find out what you did wrong, understand how to correct, they go out there and correct it..

Think of it as a favor
The worst thing that can happen in dating is not rejection, but to get strung along, thinking the person really likes you when they don't. If a first or second date doesn't turn into anything more, be thankful.

This may seem strange, but having one of you acknowledge an incompatibility early on - rather than later on - is a huge time-saver. The brush-off allows you to chalk it up to experience and move on to someone who is more appreciative of your time and energy.

Lastly…
Learning how to handling rejection without damaging your self-confidence – whether it's in the dating or business world – is an exceptionally valuable skill. You're not going to win at everything you do, but that doesn't mean you have to look bad doing it. Those who can handle rejection and not lose a skip in their step, find themselves not losing very often, because they have learned to hold their heads high no matter what. It's important everyone learn this skill.

Nothing is going to change the fact you're awesome – unless you stop believing it's true. No one can make you feel bad – but yourself. So don't let any sort of rejection – big or small – rattle your confidence level. Remember, you can't be everyone's idea of a perfect match. That wouldn't be fair to everyone else. But be sure of this, the man or woman of your dreams is out there. And the less time you spend worrying about or dwelling on rejection, the less time you'll have to find them.

For more great dating advice be sure to visit www.allstardatingtips.com.

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